April's Over

This lady will of course require no introduction.

You will know her for being nominated in a glittering career for the Adult Video News Awards for Best Tease Performance, Best Group Sex Scene, Best Supporting Actress, Best All-Girl Sex Scene and perhaps most controversially Best Non-Sex Performance.


This is April Flowers. Perhaps her middle initial is D?

Take Us To Your Leader

Most films go downhill from here...

Catalogued

Here we reveal the Carruthers card catalogue.

Contents: 1 card

Safeguard Your Fruit

"Will not damage trees"

Somehow.

Splink

(Find a) Safe (place to cross)

(Stand on the) Pavement
Look (for traffic)
If (traffic is coming, let it pass)
(When there is) No (traffic near, walk across the road)
Keep (looking and listening for traffic as you cross).

Confused?

Then you're dead.

Belt Up

Shut up and kiss me.

Back On Track

How fast is the speed of the seventies?

The Anniversary of the Solitary Cyclist

On
this
day
in
1895,
Sherlock
Holmes
and
Doctor
Watson
first
met
Miss
Violet
Smith,
the
solitary
cyclist...

Powdered

The powder room will only get you into trouble.

Ch-Ch-Changes

What is an old change?

Orbit

But with your Sat Nav telling you what to do, that's a choice you don't have.



More often it's 'And Bit'.

Fizzy

Carruthers in carbonated form.

Can you taste him?

Funnel Fun

Toptional?

Unearthed

Apparently it's to be found amongst the vegetables, which is odd.

Piccadilly Peccadilloes

So from this we can deduce that:

Piccadilly Circus & Leicester Square are a smiley face.

Holborn is a worried face.

King's Cross St. Pancras is a madcap crazy face.

Finsbury Park is a sad face.

Cockfosters doesn't require a fosters.

Septcentennial

Seven hundred posts. Who'd have thought it?

Posts with videos - 7 and a bit.

Posts with photos - 538

Uses of the word Flangemattock - This one

Posts with tags - 507

April Fools - 2

Followers - 9

Posted comments - 62

Most common tag - Peel This

Worst post - This one

Resistance Is Futile

Your home may be repossessed if you do not keep up with the payments.

Murder She Goat

Caprinicide.

.

Means 'S' in Morse code.

Take Away

Best eat with your fingers then.

Streetwalker

Is this soliciting?

Train Of Thought

Are the on-time trains invisible?

Secret Identity

Is this a video of Bond creator Ian Fleming mentioning Mr Carruthers' elusive first name?

Who Ya Gonna Call?

In case of anchovy-related emergencies.

Moral Decline

Get used to it.

Clearance

Massive Italian suits.

Presumably to suit massive Italians.

Missing Persons

If you've seen please please do get in touch. His family just want to know he's OK.

Oh boy.

Make Me Wet

I'd Tap That

Piss

Dealt with, but how?

Normal Service Has Been Resumed

Sorry
































April Fool.