Saturday, 28 February 2009

Hope Springs Internal

If this was a leap year you could ask him to marry you tomorrow, but unfortunately it'll be March instead.

Friday, 27 February 2009


Providing Carruthers branded merchandise is apparently hard work and so to rest.

Thursday, 26 February 2009

The Actors' Rehearsals (Preview)

Practice makes perfect makes preview.

The writers were all talk. Will the actors be more pro-active? Or pro-acting? Or pro-activia? What does that even mean?

Rehearsal footage. More on the way.

Wednesday, 25 February 2009


I'm giving up blogging for Lent.
Yep, forty days and forty nights of silence.

Zip. Nada. Sweet FA. Diddley Squat.

Unless something more important to me than a semi-religious principle-connected-to-a-God-I-don't-believe-in happens tomorrow, but what are the odds?

Tuesday, 24 February 2009


110g plain flour, sifted
pinch of salt
2 eggs
200ml milk mixed with 75ml/3fl oz water
50g butter
caster sugar
lemon juice
lemon wedges

Sift the flour and salt into a large mixing bowl with a sieve held high above the bowl so the flour gets an airing. Now make a well in the centre of the flour and break the eggs into it. Then whisk the eggs, incorporating any bits of flour from around the edge of the bowl as you do so.

Next gradually add small quantities of the milk and water mixture, and whisk until the batter is smooth, with the consistency of thin cream. Melt the 50g of butter and spoon 2 tablespoons of it into the batter and whisk it in, then pour the rest into a bowl and use it to lubricate the pan, using a wodge of kitchen paper to smear it round before you make each pancake.

Heat the pan so it's really hot, then turn the heat down to medium and do a test pancake to see if you're using the correct amount of batter. Two tablespoons should be about right for an 18cm pan. As soon as the batter hits the hot pan, tip it around from side to side to get the base evenly coated with batter. They should take only half a minute or so to cook. Flip the pancake over, the other side will only need a few seconds, then slide it out of the pan onto a plate.

To serve, spinkle each pancake with freshly squeezed lemon juice and caster sugar, fold in half, then in half again to form triangles, or else simply roll them up. Serve sprinkled with a little more sugar and lemon juice.


Monday, 23 February 2009


In these uncertain times even the headhunters are out of work...

Sunday, 22 February 2009

Dead Pledge

We all knew that house prices would fall, but no one seemed to realise that mortgages would get more expensive.

Who else forgets to put the 't' in mortgage?

Saturday, 21 February 2009

All Aboard

Oh Doctor Beeching, the legacy of your railway cutbacks is still with us.

The buffet car has no ketchup.

Friday, 20 February 2009


With barbeque season nowhere to be seen, when better to purchase something to cover your girth? Furthermore when better to purchase something to cover your girth in the word Carruthers?

That time is now.

Thursday, 19 February 2009

Hair-Dos & Don'ts

Some reactions to Vanity Hair on Funny Or Die and YouTube:

"Can we see the writer's meeting for this one please?"

"ok....i knew women could be vain about their hair......but pretending to kill yourself is a little extreme don't you think?'s just with someone having recently committed suicide over the internet with people makes it a little inappropriate. i mean i get it....he does controversial jokes and skits...but if you ask me this one was done in bad taste.most of the other stuff posted is pretty good =D...but that's just my opinion"

"I think that the most productive thing to do after watching any comedy video is to bitch about all the possible ways in which it might be considered offensive or inappropriate. Having an opinion on some other aspect--such as, for instance, whether or not it's funny--is so yesterday."

"very funny...!!"

"quite funny! It does touch an a serious subject to a lot of people. But he makes you see how silly it is to get upset over something that grows back. Hollywood (at least in the USA) has taught us that your outward appearance should be of utmost much so that people do become devestated over crappy haircuts and cheap clothing. Maybe I'm reading too much into it."

"I really liked it"

"By my hairy axe wound, that's bleak. Was blatantly thinking "but his feet can touch the floor tho... did that mean he broke his neck as he put his weight into the noose? you'd have to be a pretty good knot tying person to be able to make sure the noose would break your neck on the first fall... so was he perhaps a member of the scouts or something...oh. oh, it's finished. My that was bleak. When's the funny bit coming...?""

Wednesday, 18 February 2009

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

De En Ay

The results of the recent testing on the DNA of the Carruthers family are in.

The number of haplotypes posted has risen to 18. The predominant signature is an Ultra-Norse variant of I1a, which means this signature has obviously been native to the family for a very long time, as it is prevalent across the various different versions of the surname - e.g., Carruthers, Carothers, Crothers and Cruthirds. Those testing the DNA suspect the founders of the Carruthers family were of Viking or Norse-Gaelic descent.

Is Mr Carruthers a Viking?

Monday, 16 February 2009


In the United States of Ameryk, it's President's Day:

Obama has a lot to live up to.

Sunday, 15 February 2009

Identified Baggage

Don't you hate that confusion that comes when two people have similar looking luggage? Like in Police Academy 5.

You'll always know which bag is yours, unless these become so popular that you'll only know which bag is yours if you don't buy one.
But then you wouldn't be able to announce your rampant lust for Mr Carruthers in bag form.

Thursday, 12 February 2009

Natural Selection

It's Darwin Day.
Today is the 200th anniversary of Darwin's birth, and this year will also mark the 150th anniversary of the publication of Darwin's On The Origin Of Species.

Go forth and evolve...

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

It's good to laugh

laugh, chuckle, laff, giggle, snicker, hoot, snort, cackle, ha ha, chortle, guffaw, have hysterics, fall down laughing, double up with laughter, roll in the aisles, titter, ho ho, snigger, hee hee, fall about, crease up, laughing like drains, tee hee

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

An Evening With Mr. Caruthers (sic)

A year ago today Mister Carruthers used an alias and masqueraded to the world as Mr. Caruthers. Oh, how foolish we were not to realise it was him all along.

An Evening With Mr. Caruthers was a selection of sketches, including the first performance of the Mime Contest (featuring Hilde Drevsjømoen & Anna Masing as the mimes), presented in Hoxton in London by Behind the Bike Shed and was first show to feature the combined efforts and force of will of David Black, Andy Cartwright, Michael Everhard & Gi Lewis, but don't worry though there were some talented people in it too.

Monday, 9 February 2009

Infinity. Without end. Beyond time. Before time. Interminable. Eternity. Where never is ever. Boundless. Everywhere and nowhere baby.

As long as a piece of string.

Sunday, 8 February 2009

To Cup It All

Add milk, sugar and Mr Carruthers to taste. If there's one thing this is, it's tasteful.

Saturday, 7 February 2009

Orange Sports & Leisure

What was broken at Oxford, England, on May 6, 1954?

suǝɯʎɥ uǝʌǝs ʎʇɹoɟ

Thursday, 5 February 2009

Brown Art & Literature

What William Makepeace Thackeray novel was made into a film by Stanley Kubrick?

ʇnɥs ǝpıʍ ǝƃuɐɹo ǝɔɐds ɐ :ʇǝʞɔɐɾ ןɐʇǝɯ ןɐıʇɹɐd s.uopuʎן ʎɹɹɐq ǝɥʇ ǝʌoן puɐ ƃuıʎɹɹoʍ doʇs oʇ pǝuɹɐǝן ı ʍoɥ ɹo 'ǝʌoןǝƃuɐɹʇs ɹp

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

Yellow History

What president's ghost is said to haunt the White House?


Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Pink Entertainment

Who said: "Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture"?

ǝsǝuɐdɐɾ ǝɥʇ

Monday, 2 February 2009

Blue Geography

What does it say on the bottom of New Jersey license plates?

˙ɹɐɔ ǝɥʇ uo ɯǝɥʇ ʇnd noʎ dn ʎɐʍ ɥɔıɥʍ spuǝdǝp ʇı

Sunday, 1 February 2009


This week we take time out of our busy schedule to honour of what could be the thirtieth anniversary of the genesis of the birth of the all too often over pluralised game is and was Trivial Pursuit.

In the spirit of the letter of the law of the game, we give you the following questions, play along as the days of week tumble across time's furrowed brow.

But which if any or all of the questions has anything to do with Mr Carruthers?*

* well that one, obviously