Bee Ess Ell: N

British Sign Language. Give me an N.


Although to the rest of us it looks like:

"Turf accountancy is gibberish"

We're All A Twitter

Phill Jupitus gives a Twit.

Quincentennial

Five hundred posts. Who'd have thought it?

Posts with videos - still 7. Sorry.

Posts with photos - 369

Background colour - A sort of green

Posts with tags - 388

Nostrils - 8

Followers - 6

Posted comments - 57

Most common tag - Peel This

Itches scratched - 3

Trouser - 1

Location, Location, Location

It's all about location.

[insert your own 'community chest' joke here]

Bee Ess Ell: M

British Sign Language. Give me an M.


Although to the rest of us it looks like:

"If you can't keep a civil tongue in your head, Scout, you will feel this part of my hand repeatedly against it."

Eco-house

Or is it just green?


Has own chimney and is a swallowing hazard, but where would you put it?

Bee Ess Ell: L

British Sign Language. Give me an L.


Although to the rest of us it looks like:

"If you an't keep a civil tongue in your head, you will feel this part of my hand repeatedly against it."

Hostess

I'm sure if the doorbell goes and you answer it armed with a box of these you'll get on better with whoever is calling.



The same company also make ho hos, which sound filthy.

Bee Ess Ell: K

British Sign Language. Give me a K.


This could be a gang sign.

1200

Mr
Carruthers
Has
Twelve
Hundred
Friends
On
Facebook.

Bee Ess Ell: J

British Sign Language. Give me a J.


Most of us would probably get this. If only all the others involved tracing the letter on your own palm.

Say What You Don't See

NN

Bee Ess Ell: I

British Sign Language. Give me an I.


Wouldn't be quicker to simply point to yourself?

Say What You See

$

Bee Ess Ell: H

British Sign Language. Give me an H.


Although to the rest of us it looks like:

"I wash my hands of him, the lying, cheating bastard. I have no son. I'm changing my will."

Coke Together

Here's irrefutable evidence of Beatle drug taking:

John Lennon caught sniffing coke.

Bee Ess Ell: G

British Sign Language. Give me a G.


Which if unexplained, could look like:

"When I do this, you can't see it."

Green

For absentee fathers everywhere.


Why attend boring family events when you can simply colour separation overlay yourself into the resulting photos?

Bee Ess Ell: F

British Sign Language. Give me an F.


Could be interpreted as:

"Two by two"

Wall Of Mayo

Can you have too many to choose from?

Bee Ess Ell: E

British Sign Language. Give me an E.


Although to the rest of us it looks like:

"This is the tip of my finger. I'm pointing to it with the tip of my other finger."

Nein

It's the ninth of the ninth of the ninth of the ninth of the ninth of the ninth of the ninth.

Bee Ess Ell: D

British Sign Language. Give me a D.


Although to the rest of us it looks like:

"And so is my finger. Maybe there's something in that. Now when I look at someone's index finger I'll be thinking about their genitals"

1100

Myster Carruthers (maybe it's a pseudonym) has 1100 friends on the Facebook.

Are you one of the friends on the Facebook?

Bee Ess Ell: C

British Sign Language. Give me a C.


Everyone else sees:

"My penis is this big"

Beadle's Without

One of the guest stars that never was for the Hetero Disease sketch that featured in the formative experience of An Evening With Mr Caruthers, was prankster extraordinaire, the late Jeremy Beadle. Sadly circumstances didn't allow it.

Maybe next time Jeremy.

Bee Ess Ell: B

British Sign Language. Give me a B.


To the layman:

"I can't afford binoculars"

I Do Declare

I'm sure it'll all blow over.

Bee Ess Ell: A

British Sign Language. Give me an A.


Although to the rest of us it looks like:

"Check out my thumb"

(Sorry Phil)

Septembering

She's September. Apparently.

Although for the next thirty days, aren't we all?