Everyone's A Critic

Yet more reactions to A Writer's Meeting on Funny Or Die and YouTube:

"Nice vid Mr Carruthers.Lisa put me on to your channel. I will peruse the other episodes at leisure. Keep it coming." (Thanks Lisa.)

"Last night I had some time to kill before going out so I figured I'd watch them all...and I have to say, I'm really impressed. With all three of you. It got quite a few laughs out of me and the updated knock-knock one was almost painfully funny...It's worth pursuing...I'm not trying to get all gay on you (that'll come later!!!) but you really do have some serious talent...keep on it. It would be a crime if you didn't. I don't know if that was a pep-talk or what. More likely it's just my response to there being only five videos on youtube. Not only do I want to see more, but I imagine a lot of other people--if they had seen any of them--would want more. Great stuff. And keep at it."

"I've got loads if urine you could use...if you want"

"I missed all the jokes because I was distracted by the eye-candy on the far right."

"Hey there, love it.'Upstairs Downstairs...having sex, Friends...who have sex, Spaced...vagina. Just adding parts of a body onto a sitcom now.' Great guys"

"I'm wondering if you guys could perform at my son's funeral. He will only be three when he dies, if all goes according to plan."

"Awesome stuff, really liked it."

"they really were very good. Even when the material isn't quite at its strongest there's still a sense of three individuals working very well with each other, and that sustains the mood and keeps you watching...Anyway, yeah. I voted "funny" for the videos on Funny or Die, but I don't know what that site is, and unless I can actually sentence bad comedians to death it probably won't interest me to explore further"

"Sooo good to see Mr. Carruthers slowly splatting himself over the screens of innocent little giggle seekers! =D"

"You guys are so funny, i can't wait for the chance to see you on stage again. And I'm eagerly anticipating the next batch of vids :)"

All the videos still have 5 stars on YouTube.

Bobby Davro

It is with deepest regret that we must announce that entertainer, impressionist and panto mainstay Bobby Davro has not passed away.


Our thoughts are with his friends and family.

Speckled

If you're going to squint, squint into this.

Which genitals in the world?

Another one like this.

Ladies and gentlemen and variations thereupon, this time it's about gender:


Overall most of the audience has been male, but it's fairly close at 58% male to 42% female:

Uniquely Part One has had mostly female viewers at 63%, to 37% male.

Part Two reverses the trend 72% male to 28% female.

Amazingly Part Three is exactly 50% male, 50% female. Never let it be said we're not about equal opportunities. Furthermore everyone under 18 that watched this was female.

Part Four's gender breakdown is at 68% male, 32% female. Everyone between 13 and 17 years old that watched this was female as well.

Part Five was the most polarised at 81% male, 19% female.

Massage

If in doubt, give it a rub.

Up, down, up, down, a few anti-clockwise circles and then wash your hands.

When in the world?

Following on from this post, we continue our look at you. Who are you? Specifically this time who old are you?

Sorry that's terrible grammar, that should be: how old are who?


The majority of our viewers are aged between 25 and 34 and sadly none are over 64.

84% of our viewers are of eligible to vote.

Part One has the most evenly spread audience agewise and uniquely has a larger section of 35 to 44 year olds than any other.

Part Two attracted the youngest audience of all, with the largest proportion of 13 to 17 year olds of any of the videos, which given the content is reassuring depraved. No one admitting to being over 34 has watched this video.

Part Three has similar figures to its predecessor, but with a larger amount of 18 to 24 year olds eating into the percentages of the age brackets either side. Again no 35 year olds or older.

Part Four has again only been endured by 13 to 34 year olds, but this video garnered the largest audience share from the 25-34% range at 58%.

Part Five has had no viewers under 18 or over 44, which is odd since it's probably the cleanest.


That's how old are who. Unless they are older or younger or both.

Mo money, mo problems

We have a winner.
What will happen to our hirsute hero with his newfound access to the huge amounts and the depths of sleaze and the glamour and the girls that the pro-moustache circuit attracts?

Where in the world?

The Writer's Meeting videos have been up on the YouTube for over six months now and I thought it’d be interesting to look at a breakdown of who has been watching them.

Amazingly the videos have been watched by people across four continents. Four bloody continents.

In addition to our British viewers, people in Ireland, Germany, Spain, Russia, Norway, Sweden, South Korea, China, Indonesia, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Singapore, New Zealand, Australia, Canada and the USA.

Of those United States inhabitants of Washington, California, Colorado, Texas, Alabama, Florida, Kentucky, New York, Massachusetts, South Carolina, Arizona, Montana, Oregon, Connecticut and Pennsylvania have all taken the time to sit through our nonsense.


Will our epic world domination never cease?

Next stop: Antarctica

About Face

Find your way around the complicated world of moustaches with our handy chart.
How will you grow yours?

Hutt's There

Punster: "Ding, Dong"

Recipient: "Who's There?"

Punster: "Jabba."

Recipient: "Jabba who?"

Punster: "How many bloody Jabba's do you know?"

Rapunzel's hair

A particularly dangly entry this one and technically a beard.

Still he looks pleased. He probably doesn't realise he's been disqualified.

Drugging In?

If drugs get you where you want to go, it's important to understand your fuel.

Know your Onions.

Flair for Hair

Another entry in the Carruthers-esque facial follicles contest.

Comb your cheeks.

Drugging Out?

Look at all the pretty colours.

It's confusing isn't it?

At least 99% of these are Smarties.

Must Dash

Taking lipfuzz to greater heights, probably daily.
Mister Carruthers may have a rival.

Ton Eighty

Or

"One-Hun-dred-and Eight-y"

Movember's Here

Possibly inspired by the facial locks of Mr Carruthers*, an annual phenomenon has developed. In order to raise money for charitable purposes, ladies and gentlemen all over the world use this time to grow a MOustache in noVEMBER.
Movember.

If you want to get involved, it's time to start those lip exercises.

* possibly not.

The greatest philosophical question of our time...

Well, is it?

Is it?

Are you sure?

Dings Donged

Just add jokes.

There's Bristol

Oh, there it is.

Breezeproof

6 cups shredded cabbage
1 carrot, shredded
2/3 cup of mayonnaise
2 tablespoons of vinegar
2 tablespoons of vegetable oil
2 and 1/2 tablespoons of sugar, or to taste
1/2 teaspoon of celery salt
1/4 teaspoon of salt, or to taste
Toss the cabbage in a large bowl with the carrots. In another bowl, whisk together the remaining ingredients. Pour the mixture over the cabbage and carrots and toss to coat thoroughly. Refrigerate until serving.

Where's Bristol?

Is that it?

Animated & Fellated

Just because it isn't real, doesn't mean it shouldn't sicken, thicken and fricken.

With apologies and thanks to Phil.

Keeping track

Contain your excitement. There will be another one along in a moment.

Roll up, roll up and record the subtle and probably inconsequential differences between this train and the last one and the one before that.

Have you seen The Railway Children? I bet you were more interested in the trains than you were in Jenny Agutter. That's weird.

She gets well naked in Walkabout, and it's OK to like it 'cos she was 16. And then in Logan's Run when she gets them out, it's still a PG. How many other people can say that? She's practically required viewing.

Americomedy

From the nation that gave the world baseball, Jazz, Route 66, Happy Days, apple pie, Danny DeVito & the letter Zee comes something a little less wholesome...

It's everywhere.

Pangrammatics

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

or rather:

T h e q u i c k b r o w n f o x j u m p s o v e r t h e l a z y d o g .

Flocking hell

Obey the voices. Do as you are told.

Yes even that.

Kip

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

First

You've had sex. Well done.

Was it good? Was it worth the hype? Was it better than the second Jurassic Park film?

Hands up who thought that when they finally did it, that it was a bit of a let down? Be honest.

Don't worry, you've improved since then. Unless of course you haven't, in which case let's hope it's still...fresh.

Why not?

Why?