Thank God it's Fryday

Witty, urbane polymath and all round national treasure Stephen Fry has somehow been drawn into the web of Carruthers. At some point in his illustrious career he took a break from almost singlehandedly justifying the licence fee to play the part of the Senior Officer in this sketch:

Senior Officer: "Did Carruthers leave a suicide note?"

Smith: "Not exactly, sir."

Senior Officer: "Come on, Smith, did he leave a note or not?"

Smith: "Well, yes sir. It said, 'I have been ordered to write this suicide note and then somebody will kill me.'"

Senior Officer: "Poor Carruthers. He must have been deranged."

Smith: "May I suggest, sir, he might have been telling the truth and infact he was murdered."

Senior Officer: "Smith, you are getting ideas above your station. The wretched man had a pistol in his hand!"

Smith: "Actually sir, I think we will find, after the autopsy, that Carruthers was poisoned."

Senior Officer: "This is getting very messy, Smith. Very messy for the Regiment. There's no need for any of this. I have already given orders that Carruthers be incinerated."

Smith: "You mean cremated, sir?"

Senior Officer: "Listen to me young man. No one ever contradicts me, however bloody clever they think they are. One more remark like that and you'll be suicided, too."